Yemoja Speaks

You have rights and amazing perspectives to give. Listen to other foster youth and alum give their perspective and experience in foster care.

Unfortunately Darnell T. life was taken by his temporary foster mother February 2024. We are discussing his case.

We want to be successful but sometimes the fear holds us back. We fear success, opinions, or failure but that doesn’t mean we cannot accomplish our goals. We can do it through the fear. Let’s talk about it. Follow me on Instagram @yemojaspeaks

Many times we say we want the truth but honest can be hurtful and we want to resist it. I find myself resisting the truth when someone calls me out and holds me accountable. I want to become better but listening to my flaws is difficult. Let’s discuss it. Follow on Yemojaspeaks on IG.

I deleted emotional regulation and uploaded affirming emotions in its place last week. If you haven’t listened to that episode please go listen. Bonus there is another episode being released today at noon. Thank you for listening and supporting this podcast.

As we recognize how we feel we are able to affirm that we have those emotions to work through them. I deleted my previous episode about emotional regulation but within this episode we discuss social situations that we can find ourselves in where we need to regulate our emotions by naming them, or biting our tongue in intense emotions.

Many of us have areas where we have been neglected by our caretakers but as we step into adulthood, we take on the responsibility to parent ourselves. I discuss 9 ways to start I. Your self-parenting journey.

When we reach 18 years old we think we are grown and can do what grownups do. However, sometimes we aren’t prepared to really discipline ourselves like the adults have done. I talk about my experience with the adulting process.

Talking about the supportive circle that I had to create around me which being in foster care and how it helped and hurt me.

Being surrounded by

My parents decisions reflect their upbringing while mine reflect the endless possibilities because the overwhelming support given to me. We have moments in our lives that we can choose to take the advise from others or choose the same situations as our family. What is your decision?

I don’t allow others to join in my quiet moments of reflecting but I decided to step out of my comfort zone. I invited someone to join me to reflect and plan our futures together. It turned out nice and it helps both of us to be accountable. Find someone to share your goals with so they can hold you to them.

Many times we don’t believe in our journey because we are too focused on others. I had to slow down and appreciate my journey and who I am becoming.

Silent tears poem. Sometimes our pain is what pushes us into our purpose. I have used writing as a way to express my pain and connect with others.

Our mental houses are clutter while we look to find our missing shoe we thought we put in the closet. Organized chaos is a contradiction, attached to traumatic experiences. Diving deeper into my trama by addressing it by the name, my failed relationships with my siblings due to being in foster care. Being in foster care is traumatizing but not being able to share a connection with your family is more hurtful. Let’s talk about it. This episode is dedicated to Sharonda Swanson, my mother may she rest in peace. Nakupenda mama!

Hi

Have you felt that you were being rejected by your biological and foster family? Maybe you felt like you didn’t fit in their square box because you are a circle. I have too but didn’t know how I felt about until I became an adult. Rejection hurts but should be acknowledged. Follow me on Instagram and TikTok @yemojaspeaks

When difficult times come what do you do? I find myself on the verge of giving up until I remember my purpose. I reflect over my journey and all of my decisions. While I do not make excuses for my choices I do understand that my decisions were made based on my emotions and limit information. As I think about my future I know that my past will always be there to remind me of my decisions. However, I will be emotional mature to conquer my future reactions to the choices of my past.

When out physical environment is out of order our mental is usually in the same state. The first thing is to have a focus that is so strong that you don’t want to pull away from it. I had to clean my house and breathe to slow down. I needed to be still to find clarity.

It requires us to look at ourselves in the mirror to be honest. We have allowed people to walk all over us but now we are taking our power back through reflecting.

Foster parents post COVID is difficult. Many foster parents were concerned about transmission of the virus but now we are still facing an issue with limited foster parents signing up.

The challenge of being a foster is rewarding.

Did you know we can develop an emotional addiction? It is the emotional connection that we have with others knowing that the relationship is unhealthy but we stay because it is familiar.

Emotional habits are unconsciously formed based on the freedom or restriction given to us. If our caretakers validated our feelings we develop healthy emotional habits, however, many times we need to learn it in adulthood. Follow us on social media

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Too many times we hear about other people matching energy but we don’t hear how that might have gotten someone killed or harm. It might look cool but some people don’t stay at the same level they go to 100 real quick and expect to fight. Are you ready for a fight over something minor? Let talk about it.

Love poem

Hamjambo? Sijambo Leo!
It can be hard when we realize that our friend that we have known over 10 years is really a long-time acquaintance instead. An acquaintance is a person that we share a surface level relationship with but really don’t have trust in establishing a real relationship. I have realized how private I am which means that I don’t share much of my personal information anyways, however, the people that I have had around me for years should have more personal stories. Many of the people I have known for 10 years, we don’t know personal details about one another. I figured out that our friendship was not mutual the hard way and now I am figuring out what I should do next.
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Some people don’t care about what you are going through they only want to have access to you. Check to see if they are true or not. Do they tell you all the things wrong with you? Do they only talk to you when it is convenient for them? Do they not show up for you but want you to show up for them? Hmmmm 🤨 they are only there to use you.

Sharonda or Lolo as she was known as was my beautiful mother. Many people are surprised by me when they meet me and know my history of being in foster care but I give the award to my mother for the strong foundation she set for me. This is my open ended letter to my mother, thanks you for taking the pain so I could be free.

“Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.” Neil Gailman, Coraline
What are your dragon?
Our dragons can be: toxic thinking habits, anxiety, procrastination, childhood trauma, emotional trauma, and relationship trauma. It is okay to cry to get through it. Although I have not tame all my dragons I am learning my emotions and how I can use them rather than them using me.
How do you tame your dragon?

Know your emotions
Know your goals and where you are heading
Find balance through; mediation, writing, poetry, dance, sewing, etc.

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We have all had questions about the process of becoming a foster and adoptive parent. As a former foster youth, I have questioned the process due to my personal experience and hearing the experience of my friends. I also see in the news where the system fails the child, so I wanted to understand how foster parents are screened. Join the conversation with Zina K, a foster parent recruiter for Pressley Ridge.

What to do daily for behavioral change

Change behavior

Mental health discussion with Dr. Sonji Kenyatta, a licensed professional clinical counselor. Dr. Kenyatta practice cognitive behavioral talk therapy which means we do what we think. She has worked as a professional clinical counselor for well over 20 years and now has her own practice counseling individuals each day.
Therapy is becoming more popular in conversations because many of us understand the power of our trauma when used effectively. We discussed how some of us break the generational curses by bettering our lives, which impacts our relationships with family and friends. Join the conversation, how are your relationships impacted by you learning and healing?

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Mental health is important yet many times goes unnoticed until a major event occurs. It is equally important to listen to people around us when they think that something can be corrected about our behavior.

We must look at the relationships that we have to understand if they are hindering or helping us to succeed.

Our journey requires reflection and preparation. To prepare we must know what we have already done and what others have done so that we can try new attempts instead of repeating old habits.

Being okay that I have overcome so much in our lives. I thank myself and you should too because you made it!

Understanding how your dad impacted your emotional and mental well-being is important. Many people talk about daddy issues but don’t explain how their dad impacted them emotionally. I explain my complex relationship with my dad.

I have been looking at my behaviors and journey so far. I have made many of mistakes but have come to realize that I share traits that my parents have or had that I want to get rid of. Some of the things that I do isn’t right and doesn’t make sense. Healing myself means that I must look at the behaviors that mom had and how I use them or release them. I know that some of my traits need to go but at least I was able to look at them.

Have you been told that you were just like one of your parents? Yes many of us have been told that once in our lives. I told the time to do an overview of my parents and understand the qualities that I have too.

Walk away from people who are intentionally triggering you and trying to bring you to their level. It prevents you from growing when you match the energy of others who aren’t aspiring to better themselves.

Having great friendships, where we can truly be vulnerable and open is a blessing. We share great laugher and ideas. Although it is great to have wonderful friendships, sometimes boundaries get overlooked and lines gets blurred. We take this healthy friendship and want to deepen the relationship to being romantic. Growing up I didn’t see many healthy relationships, rather being platonic or romantic, so having them in my life means learning how to make lasting bonds. However, how do we navigate a friendship when someone develops romantic emotions ultimately complicating the relationship?
Resources
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I had to understand how I had healthy relationships in my past but could not see them because I could not recognize my struggles. I allowed my efforts to get in the way of how I showed up in relationships. My need for control hindered how I interacted with friends, which created complicated relationships from my side. I received an email from a fantastic friend explaining our relationship; however, I could not explain my side due to an unfortunate loss. This situation allowed me to think how important it is to be vulnerable with people that want to be supportive and open. It saddens me that I waited until it was too late to let go of old emotions. You must deal with old emotions to fix relationships before you miss the opportunity.
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This sneak peak episode gives you insight to my poetry that helps me transmute my negative experiences into beautiful words that shed light on all of us.

This episode we talk about how parents are controlling our lives. We discuss the signs of a controlling parent, what type of controlling tactics that are used and how it impacts the live of the children to grow up with a controlling parent.

Things to think about:
Who do you think is controlling in your life?
How does their controlling behavior make you feel?
What can you do to minimize the control over you?

If you enjoy this podcast be sure to leave us a review or check out our social media and leave us a comment.
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This week’s episode we discussed how goal setting is important. Usually people set their intentions when the new year begin but we all know that goals get accomplished all year. Don’t wait until the new year to become a better version of yourself or to see goals, set immediately. We know that sometime trying to accomplish a goal when we aren’t mentally strong enough to get out bed but making small goals are just as important.

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In this episode we discuss how relationships impact how we think about ourselves and overall our goals in life. Many of us want better for ourselves yet something, someone prevents us from accomplishing it. We listen to the discouraging words, hangout with friends too much, or spend too much time thinking about what other people are doing. We hinder our success by staying involved in relationships that do not help us get closer to success. Let us look at our actions and interactions with our friends and family to see if it helps or hinder us to attain the success we desire.

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